It's happening, sooner than I thought it would

I'm losing my focus, or my grip, whatever you may call it.
Work got the best of me over the last two to three weeks. Just back from a vacation, and I was frazzled on Day 1. Things did not improve as I struggled through split shifts and on to the following week, when I was tasked with training a young pharmacist who had spent his first year out of school languishing in the retail side of the profession. He is bright, but he doesn't retain processes well. He damn near broke me. I ended the week in my boss' office, actually crying. I never cry in front of people at work anymore. Last week was not much better, as new procedures for handling outpatient infusion admixtures were implemented in the IV Room without anyone actually 1) telling the staff or 2) writing out a policy and procedure. No one knew who among us was responsible for prioritizing the orders. One of the more ambitious techs took the initiative but didn't understand enough about staging chemo infusions to be able to cut her way through the Gordian knot that met us that morning. I had literally piles of new IVs to check and get out the pass-through window to go to inpatients. Lots of bicarb IVs for renal protection, first dose of the day Protonix IVs, epidurals that were let run out over third shift, and there was the TPN compounder setup to check from stem to stern before we could start mixing neonatal IVs for the day.
I've had a three-day weekend, and been able to spend some real time during the day with my grandbaby before she returns to Canada this week, but my free days were tinged with the dread of returning to work on Monday morning. It colors my every thought; I can't even bring myself to venture outside to plant a few bulbs for fear those dark haunts will intrude and spoil what is one of my few remaining pleasurable activities.
So I stay inside and tackle the mess that is my actual desktop and mail file, only to find I have inadvertently allowed my driver's license to expire. So am I senile, or depressed, or just overwhelmed?

Lost my marbles, I has

I am arachnophobic. The sight of a spider bigger than a gnat will induce in me a state of near-paralysis. I keep a broom by the outside door to sweep the air for errant cobweb strands before I walk through, thus avoiding the time-consuming activity of stripping and showering if I brush against spider silk. This is, of course, web-spinning season and I am on high alert in the out-of-doors.

So why am I tolerating the presence of a young spider that has taken up residence in my driver's side rearview mirror? It's an arboreal orb weaver, and my prior experiences with its kin have not been the best. These ladies grow to nearly an inch in length and weave large webs across my front walk, my front porch, my back deck, and between trees in my backyard. These webs are quite strong, very sticky, and the adult spider looks very icky and all accidental encounters with them have resulted in my immediate execution of the spider dance, followed by the ritual referenced in the above paragraph. My mother-in-law reports she has seen ruby-throated hummingbirds encased in these spiders' webs at her house on Table Rock Lake. Ewwwww.

So again I ask myself, why let this arachnid camper reside in my rearview mirror, spinning her web across my window and almost to the door handle? Every day she's bigger, every day that web is anchored closer and closer to the handle. Soon I won't be able to get into my car without disturbing her spidery dreams.

I think it's purely the entertainment value. She's always out in the web when I have to go somewhere. The slipstream catches her and bounces her around like one of those little balls on a rubberband that you hit with a paddle, only much faster. I swear I can see her tense when the engine starts. She has learned to scrabble up the web structure to the safety of the mirror itself, and sits there on the edge glowering (I imagine) at me with her little beady eyes. Up until yesterday, she only made the dash to shelter if I came to a stop. Last night, she was already tucked up for the ride before I left the parking garage. She's a pretty quick study, my little friend Parker. Oh, yes, I named her. Told you I've lost my marbles.

Odds and ends

Let's start with odd....

Ahmadinejad:

"There was no holocaust."

"There are no homosexuals in Iran."

But really, dude, X-ray attacks? In Rome? Now you're pushing it.

Although I have been wondering about the Pope's red shoes. Are they perhaps a weapon of sorts, designed to direct radiation attacks against enemies of Christendom?

Mahmoud, hon, Nana says take your meds.

Moving on.....

Some acquaintances of mine lost one of their beloved cats to a pair of unrestrained dogs who wandered onto their back porch yesterday. One cat escaped and eventually returned home unharmed, but the larger cat was not so fortunate. The dogs tossed him in the air and broke his back. It was all over in a heartbeat. Please, please, if you have dogs, keep them under your control. More than one dog constitutes a pack, and they are pack hunters by nature. This did not have to happen.

And a moment's reflection....

Please remember the patients and medical personnel who were killed in Flagstaff yesterday. May their loved ones, friends and colleagues find comfort and peace.

Another one-day weekend

I worked an extra shift last Sunday, making last weekend the first in a string of one-day wonders which is looming ahead for most of the summer. Our first pharmacy resident has finished her year with us and moved on, and her replacement will not be trained and licensed until well into August or possibly September. Lots of "opportunities" for overtime. Time and a half at pharmacist's wages is hard to pass up, and my bank account needs some heavy-duty replenishment. New kitchens don't come cheap.

But, I've just squandered a perfectly good day off, and now I have to work straight through until Tuesday evening. I can't really do much around the house, due to the general state of disruption brought on by the previously referenced kitchen remodelling, which also includes the garage and former dining room. I did manage to do some cleaning, and some laundry, but the weather was sort of passive-aggressively menacing most of the day, so the gardens were neglected. We've had such cool (for June) temps lately, I'm loathe to go out and work in the more seasonal heat and humidity which have beset us over the last week. My landscaper has apparently fallen off the edge of the Earth, leaving us with a roughed-in planting bed project at the end of the driveway. He didn't make much progress. I bought the plants for it weeks ago, and they are not looking so spry. Oh, and yes, he's the fellow who is supposed to be fixing the fence that was compromised by the heavy rains two weeks ago. I'm concerned that he's been hurt or has been locked in a dungeon by his neighbor. She's stolen him away from me in mid-project before.

I just have no ambition today. I did make some cosmetic changes to this humble little blog, so hopefully the blogroll is easier to read now. I've been jonesing for the loveliness of the Pacific Northwest and let that beautiful part of the planet be my guide for the newish pallette.